Married Without Heredity

March 21, 2010 at 12:21 am (married, Pregnancy) (, , )

Some people choose not to have children when they were married to her partner. That decision is often judged to be reasonable. But for those who live it, life becomes easier.

Many of the background that makes one not want to have kids. Goddess Larasati (50) or a more intimate feel called Tike not ready to be parents, ever. Not cost is thinking, the woman who is a lawyer by profession does not stand the fuss of children. He also was not patient care and educate children.

“Children are our responsibility forms of life. If we are not ready for responsibility, for what have children? “Said Tike. It has been more than 19 years since she married her husband, Edmund Heng (54), Tike never regretted his decision to not have kids.

Recognized childhood experiences influence his decision Tike join. Since childhood, Tike lived abroad since his mother, Basundari Suyono, a diplomat who served in several countries in Europe. Every day, saw his mother busy Tike extraordinary.

In addition to taking care of five children with her husband (and four brothers Tike each was only one year old), Basundari busy with office duties. Tike’s mother is also often receive visitors until the evening or the following business trips abroad, “It feels really kok ribet child care,” said Tike.

Subekti (59) or Bekti, a lecturer at the University of Tarumanegara, West Jakarta, had another reason. The man who spent his childhood in Salatiga, Central Java, was more afraid of his own emotions when she had children. “I was raised by an angry mother and father are not close to his children. If I have kids, even pity for my children, “said Bekti who believe that if a child he would behave like a father or mother.

Bekti claimed to have suffered psychological distress because of the atmosphere, uncomfortable house. He became a figure of quiet, but save the explosive anger. “I do not hate children. But I can not stand if they fuss or fight, for example, “said Bekti who admitted that he had not wanted to have children since high school.

Always there is no single reason behind a decision. As stated Paul Sapto Indratmo (38), usually called Sapto, private sector workers in Jakarta who has 10 years of marriage to Lola Larasaki (35).

Sapto pleaded not want to have children because they do not want to increase the human population has swelled. He is also appalled by the number of children abandoned in this country. Another reason, in the family history of cancer Sapto there. He worried that history will diminish to the children.

Communication

Social psychologist from the University of Indonesia, Ratna Juwita, rate, trends that married couples without children are common in foreign countries. But in Indonesia, the average married couple who will be hoping to have a child. The desire to have children is still strong because usually couples can not escape from social demands.

However, in the jungles of big city life in the crowded and complicated, such as Jakarta, people become more individualistic. They no longer think about the social environment around them, so be more realistic. As Bekti said, “To survive in Jakarta alone is difficult. Especially when to bear children. “

Rachael rate does no harm if the couple had no children. “Through the process of thinking, they set themselves to be lived life. That’s something positive, it must be communicated only with a partner, “he said.

Before the proposed Lucia, frank Bekti to his future wife was that she did not want to have kids. Lucia is not directly agree with the decision and seek input Bekti from his uncle. God knows what reason, Bekti do not know, ultimately Lucia will also married to Bekti. Now their marriage age was 31 years into the range.

While Tike did not tell him directly if he did not want to have kids. In front of Edmund, every morning Tike taking the pill regularly. Also if you want to travel with her husband, Tike never forget to bring antihamilnya pills. “From there to know if my husband did not want to have kids. He even likes to remind me to take pills, “he said.

For Tike and Bekti, their families no one opposed the decision to not have kids. However, the choice was not easy for Sapto, especially when dealing with his wife’s family. “At first, my wife’s family objected and appealed to us to have a child. But my wife and I remain determined not to have children, “said Sapto. After four years, finally his wife’s family is no longer tinkering with their decision.

Bekti also got annoyed because people often asked about his decision to not have kids. In the end, Bekti often advised. “If anyone advise me listen to it, but the decision remains in my hands. This is my life, “said Bekti.

Free

So it is with Tike. For him, life without children who lived to make life easier.

After work, the woman who is a lawyer by profession have time for herself. Every weekend he went to the Labu, South Jakarta, to see his horse. Tike There are also practice riding.

Tike sometimes also riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle from his apartment in Slipi, West Jakarta, to his office in Sudirman area. If it was a long holiday, he and Edmund go camping or diving out of town. Having time to yourself, Tike was a balanced life while living in the crowded city Jakarta.

Bekti and Lucia also has two dogs so that their homes become more crowded. Every day the dog was taken care of Lucia, while Bekti more often take the dogs to play.

For Bekti, every day feels like a honeymoon. After work, he spent more days to talk with his wife because he did not have a television. Every weekend, they both went to the cinema to watch a movie.

That night, Thursday (21 / 1), waiting Bekti picked Lucia. This special night. They’ll watch a movie and dinner to celebrate the anniversary.

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